Precious in His sight

It is no big secret that I haven’t exactly had an easy past few months. I’ve been struggling with the presence of God, His purposes, and His will. Not that I have lost my faith in those things, but just spending more time pondering them and considering what the Bible says.

I’m working at a school now that has only begun to stretch me in so many ways. But one of the things that I really sat and took in today the worth of each child. As I sat in the classroom and observed, I didn’t see children with handicaps, or learning disabilities, or mental emotional problems. All I saw was the beautiful work of God. The precious uniqueness is just breathtaking. The moments of sparkle in their eyes as they focused intensely on the words being communicated to them. The smile of pride that creeps across their faces when they hear an encouraging word. The laughter though a joke is silent. The joy is beautiful. But what is also precious is the hurt behind their eyes when they can’t do something because of an impairment. The screams of frustration when they can’t understand or aren’t understood. The inability to move without the help of another. These things are also precious because they are not unseen or uncared for by the Creator of the Universe. He loves them, cares for them, and hurts for them all the same. I pray that I can serve those that are precious in His sight and that they will continue to show me grace, mercy, humility, and compassion.

Red Sox tickets

I waited all day to get tickets. All day. Lousy random selection virtual waiting room. I got on at 10am when all tickets went on sale and I never got selected. All day. I’m very depressed. It should be a first come first serve. I came right as the clocked turned to 10…thats gotta count for something! So needless to say I am not happy. But I can’t do anything about it so ah well. Anybody trying to come up with a good b-day present, I’d love to go to a game!

since I can’t write anything

Since I don’t have time for writing an actual entry I’ll just share this amusing story I just got in an email. Enjoy!

If you didn’t see this on the Tonight show, I hope you’re sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.
Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had.The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter… Snowing and quite cold…and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah.It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere!

Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started.

In the deep snow she didn’t have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.

As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car’s fender.

Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly
apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date’s concerns about ‘what is taking so long’ with a reply that indeed, she was ‘freezing her butt off’ and in need of some assistance.

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.

She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free..

So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be ‘pants down.’ And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno’s comment… ‘This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.

Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.  

I need to be more selfish

Pretty ridiculous but I really need to start doing that. I need to start thinking about myself and less about fixing or helping everyone else around me. My mental health is zip right now and my supervisor told me that I need to start considering myself when doing things because what I want to do or think I should do is not exactly always what is best for me. She was right. I should have listened. Instead I end up dealing with things that I end up being the bad guy or the wrong guy or whatever guy gets crapped on. I’m sick of being “that guy”. I need a vacation. I’m probably going to Arizona. I need to get out of here. I know running away from things isn’t the answer but in my case it is probably exactly what I need to do. Worked the last time my life was falling apart. Maybe AZ will work its magic again.

Sanctity of Life

Today we reflected upon the sanctity of life in church by addressing the issue of abortion. Caleb’s message was very well done. He expressed a passion from the pulpit that is rare to be seen in a world where everyone, including churches, wants to be P.C. My pastor from my former church would never have been so bold. Throughout the message Caleb emphasized the need to love and not judge while also exposing the truth of the situation. The statistics were appalling. Not that they shocked me but that reality is what it is.

Mandy sang a beautiful song called Born (I think). I wish I had the words (ahem ahem). They captured so beautifully the gift of life that was given to man, both in creation and in Christ.

I shared the miracle I had witnessed last year when a client of mine chose life for her child. I wished I had the poem I wrote for her then. It isn’t the greatest poem in the world but I’d like to share it.

The First Day of the Rest of Your Life                                                                         

The first day of the rest of your life

I didn’t even know you were there.                                                                           

There was pleasure and pain in my heart                                                                        

As I made up the bed from that night

The first day of the rest of your life                                                                        

The color red was only found after a test.                                                                         

It wasn’t the usual but in two lines.                                                                                

Your great-grandmother held my hand. 

The first day of the rest of your life                                                              

I asked ”Why, How, When, What now?”                                                                         

My father would surely hurt me.                                                                                     

Not by force, but by shame and disappointment.

The first day of the rest of your life                                                                                     

I cried about our future together                                                                                         

I realized I couldn’t provide for you                                                                                 

Nor continue my path of education       

 The first day of the rest of your life                                                                                 

My heart ached as I agreed for it to be done                                                                   

To take you to the end                                                                                                         

So that my life could go on      

The first day of the rest of your life                                                                                

I was educated on what it was                                                                                          

And left my class to breathe some air                                                                             

Got directed to a place for women who need care

The first day of the rest of your life                                                                                     

I entered A Woman’s Concern                                                                                              

I saw your head, your body                                                                                             

And listened to your heart

The first day of the rest of your life                                                                                     

I woke knowing it would be your last                                                                                  

I was silent the whole way there                                                                                      

And walked slow into the hospital

The first day of the rest of your life                                                                                     

I sat and waited, thinking of your heart                                                                         

And decided there for myself                                                                                         

That I never wanted to make it stop

The first day of the rest of your life                                                                                      

I had tears for I knew it’d be hard                                                                                   

But no form of trials in all the world                                                                           

Would make me take the life of my child.

                                                          

An oldie but a goodie

So after much searching, I sadly discovered that it would not be possible for me to import my old blogs into this one. So I spent the last hour saving each entry since 2004 to a Word Doc so at least I have it. Yes…it was thrilling. Actually, it was really amusing. I crack myself up sometimes. But I suppose thats a good thing. The moment I start taking myself too seriously, I’ve got big problems. Anyway, in the spirit of nostalgia I thought I would post an old entry from September 2004. It was suggested by many to turn this into a children’s book, but I’ve seen children these days and I certainly don’t want to add to their issues.  So here it is…ENJOY!

Current mood:	Bring it.
Current music:	The theme from LOTR comes to mind

Cerebrosus Gallus
I woke this morning feeling rather good about life. Which is plus I must say. Anyway, I arose and made my way over to work at the barn. Poor Libby(the horse) has a bad leg and so I had to soak her foot in warm water. So I enter her stall to go get her and there in the doorway are the chickens. So I gently shoo them away and they run frantically out the door. But one remained. The great one. He was about two feet tall and great anger burned in his eyes. He squared off in front of me to defend his territory. I thinking nothing of this because I’m about four feet or so bigger than him and so I proceeded to shoo him as well. This however was quite counterproductive. The next thing I saw was a reddish black feathered mass coming at me with incredible speed through the air. It pounded at me with its massive wings and pecked and scratched at whatever it could find. It found my leg. My immediate reaction was to back up and swat at the charging ball of fury but apparently swatting only makes the situation worse. So I did what any self respecting person would do. I ran. I dove out of the stall and grabbed my mucking fork and wheeled around now armed for battle.
I stared down my opponent as he flapped his wings triumphantly and let out a cock-a-doodle-doo victory cry. Oh contra ir my boastful little friend. With my trusty fork in hand I advanced slowly using quick, forceful jabbing motions. He eyed me furiously as if thinking how dare she come in for another attack. He squared off again but this time I was ready. I let out my war cry as I charged forward. The little bugger never stood a chance. He recognized he was no match for the mighty mucking fork and gave his cock-a-doodle-doo signal of retreat. And this is why man will always triumph over beast. Not because we are bigger but because we have hands that can hold wonderful inventions such as the mucking stick. No longer will the mucking stick have a low reputation but will be held high in a place of honor along side great weapons such as Excalibur. I went now about my business and continued to work with Libby and chat on the phone with my mother. I was busy telling her the fantastic tale when suddenly my formidable opponent appeared in the door way with his posse. I panicked as I saw that my trusty stick was across the aisle. I told my mother the situation and she she told me to quit exaggerating. It was then that the feathered ball of fury let out his war cry. It was after this moment that my mother yelled into the phone, “Run Jill, run!” I dove across the aisle and grabbed my weapon of choice. I squared off with him once more and dared him to attack. Upon viewing the situation he realized that he just would not be able to defeat the mucking stick. So for the next hour he stalked me. Every where I turned while I was mucking the stalls, he was there giving me the evil eye. I’ve never had a stalker before. It was rather creepy. Quickly I finished and made my way to my car. As I got in the car, the irate rooster cries his victory cock-a-doodle-doo once more as he crosses the barn door threshold. Until next time I shouted fiercely and drove away in my great Black Stallion. Thus another adventure concludes in the life of the poor college student. Moral: Don’t screw with a rooster unless you have something to defend your self with. Or keep an eye out for mad roosters…they could be watching.

Three kinds of love

“False love, natural love, and married love. False love is that which seeks its own, as a man loves money, possessions, honor, and woman taken outside of marriage and against God’s command. Natural love is that between a father and child, brother and sister, friend and relative, and similar relationships. But over and above all these is married love…” These are the words of Martin Luther in a sermon he gave originally in 1519. He continued to say perhaps one of the most beautiful things I have ever read in regards to the relationship between a man and wife. He writes, “‘It is you I want, not what is yours: I want neither your silver nor your gold; I want neither. I want only you. I want you in your entirety, or not at all.’ All other kinds of love seek something other than the loved one: this kind wants only to have the beloved’s own self completely.”

 This coming from a man who at this point did not want to be married nor was seeking marriage. But he understood what the love between a man and wife should be. Selfless. It is no wonder that the marriage metaphor is used to describe the love of Christ for the Church. He loves us completely and desires us to give Him all of us, our whole lives. He wants us in our entirety because it is not possible for us to give Him only a part of ourselves.

Ok back to my paper.

Here I am

New blog, new opportunity to stretch my creative muscles. Now since I have a boatload of work to do right now this post is going to be ridiculously short but I can’t wait to get writing. I hope any who read this may be blessed, entertained, whatever by what I write.

Now I need to go reflect on Martin Luther for a bit…but I’ll be back! I promise!